Meet The New Socialist Human!

One of the highlights of my festive trip to the land of the Mighty Piefke was a visit to the DDR museum in Berlin.

It was one of those interactive “spaces” of the experience “economy” that you get after a generation or two of curators emerge with “post-curatorial studies” degrees from Centres of Critical Museumology that tell us somehow it’s no longer ok to be entertained by the shrunken heads of inferior races of conquered men or watching their children dance for us and try to make fire behind plexiglass sneezeguards.

So instead we got to sit in a Trabant, at the desk of a Stasi officer, play with DDR blend coffee (now with 55% real coffee!) and have a go at building “the new socialist human”.

A proper socialist would obviously complain that actual existing socialism was hardly just an voluntary lifestyle and articulation of cumulative consumer choices – as if a ghettotastic nigga even had the choice of blinging his lily white ass all up all up in that deutsche democratik muthafucka – but still it was fun.

And challenging…

It took a couple of tries but eventually the objective will of the people was realized and we achieved a perfect score of 0/70. Long live the New Socialist Human!


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