Daddy Mac’ll Make Ya…

JUMP!
JUMP!

Previously on Berlusconi Youth the Workers & Peasants took a nostalgic slide through the chart-topping mediocrity of 1990s Australia, uncovering parallel universes, forgotten pop gold and shit so wiggity wiggity wiggity wack it would blow your cracker ass mind, cracker.

Will the hypothesis that the way to #1 on the Australian charts is through AOR ballads or novelty hip hop hold up for the crucial years 1993-1995?

The only way out is through.

A little known fact is the Ugly Kid Joe was named in negation of a rival band, Pretty Boy Floyd – themselves named for the Woody Guthrie song. The negation of the negation? No one cares about any of these fucking bands now (#1 Mar 1993)

We briefly discussed Faith No More last episode. The question, though, is what would you rather be remembered for, given the choice? Covering a song by Lionel Richie as FNM did, or covering a song from Yusuf Islam’s Jahiliyyah as UKJ did? (#1 May 1993)

June and July 1993 were dominated by two songs, UB40s cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and Snows’ “Informer” (icky boom boom down, etc.). Wars have been fought over the superior exploiter nation innovation in Jamaican pop, but the Workers & Peasants of Berlusconi Youth vote for the song Elvis did in Blue Hawaii by the band The Specials could’ve been (oh fuck off I’m just joking) (#1 July & Aug 1993)

Do the apocalyptic allusions here signal the little purple man’s later embrace of Adventism? I don’t care either, Prince could become an objectivist and I’d still faithfully illegally download his back catalogue (#1 in May & June 1994)

Now we have a song that’s less like a one-hit-wonder and more like a Canadian sitcom some guy you know mentioned once. He said it was quirky and kinda funny if you’re into that kind of humor. But they cancelled it after like 4 episodes when it was just starting to get good (#1 in June 1994)

I always found something kind of shameful about Kylie Minogue. Maybe I’m over-sensitive about my own outer suburban culture and never feeling quite so comfortable as in a shopping mall, but there was always something inescapably provincial about her; she never shook the “singing budgerigar” line. And since moving to the UK I’ve found all this exacerbated with the common British view of Australian suburbia as some kind of utopian fairyland because everyone has a garden and a separate laundry room in their house and no-one (and this is actually true) lives above an Indian take-away or taxi-dispatcher (#1 September & Oct 1994)

You know that writer Dennis Cooper who wrote about gutting midgets while fucked-up on solvents and damaged by years of exposure to violent home-made porn and shit? Yeah well that guy was totally obsessed with Daniel Johns from Silverchair I think. I might be wrong. Anyway, when they stopped being a label-mandated Nirvana clone, like some internet jerk said they turned into Coldplay (#1 Oct 1994)

Which brings us to 1995, which arguably produced the worst batch of #1 in the shameful history of Australia. Seriously, better a dozen Tampa incidents than the eleven songs that made it to number one. N-Trance, Hocus Pocus, has anyone heard the name “Merril Bainbridge” in the last 15 years? Gangsta’s Paradise was number 1 for eleven weeks – that’s nearly 3 months. Even U2’s worst single from one of the worst films of all time made in to number 1 and stayed there for 6 weeks:

In our next episode… can things get any worse?

BONUS MON CHI CHI! SHIMMY-SHIMMY MON CHI CHI!

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One response

  1. Pingback: Kriss Kross’ll Make Ya… « Berlusconi Youth

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