My Name Is Berlusconi Youth. I Live On The Second Floor.


Do you hear that?

The sound of breaking plates, flying cutlery, distant police sirens and drunken sobs?

My name is Berlusconi Youth.

I live on the second floor

I live upstairs from you

Yes, I think you’ve seen me before.

If you hear something late at night

Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight

Well, it’s probably just my Kiwigger Dean arguing with my stepmom Roland about Stalin again.

I just don’t argue anymore

I just don’t argue anymore.

But look at this Christmas card that Kiwigger and Brony No. 1 sent me (just in time for Orthodox new year and with mysterious burn marks on it).

It’s teh Tebow!



2 responses

  1. Deane

    My sister gave me a My Little Pony or Christmas. Or perhaps it was for somebody else in the family. Nah, they’ll just wreck it. I’m keeping it.

    January 18, 2012 at 8:07 am

    • Awesome!

      What’s her name? Have you given her a backstory yet? Will you write a story about her for Equestria Daily?

      Sometimes I like to sit in my closet and rock back and forth and stroke the mane of my Pone like in a rhythm and count to one million when my dad Kiwigger D. and my stepmom Roland are arguing about whether liquidating hundreds of thousands of Easter European peasants would bring us closer as a family because that makes me feel sick in my tummy when they do that. My pone’s name is Atreyu you know like the guy in the Neverending Story?

      And my stepmom keeps talking about this guy she started writing to in prison.

      Dad’s really jealous. I’ve never seen him this jealous before. He’s using swears all the time that I’m never allowed to use. He says he’s a monster, that bitch I married fell in love with a monster, and he’s a c-word and stuff too. But my stepmom said he’s complicated and charismatic and you don’t understand him like I understand him and deep down he’s a good man who did what he had to do. She said he had a hard life and so he had to do some bad things but we shouldn’t judge his situation because there’s some other guys in there that make what he did seem not so bad. Also most of those bitches deserved it she says. I don’t really know what that means though but it makes me feel all sick in my tummy when she says it and she says it more and more these days.

      I totally think she’s in love with this guy.

      She makes these weird paintings of him like in a kind of military uniform or something with all these kids giving him flowers and kissing him and stuff. Usually one of the kids looks like me and it’s really creepy and makes me feel sick in my tummy. I think she wants us to leave dad and make this guy my new dad when he gets out of prison or whatever. One time she said to me that he’s a strong man and I need a strong man in my life. She said my dad’s weak and lets people walk all over him. She said that’s why I still play with dolls and stuff and I’ll grow up weak unless I have a strong man in my life.

      I think they’re gonna get a divorce.

      I think it’s all my fault.

      January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

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