Did you hear that?

Shh.

Listen.

It’s the sounds of millions of young women’s hearts breaking as one, all around the world:

Kim Jong-un is having an affair with a previously married singer who has been pictured with the North Korea leader at several recent events, according to reports. South Korean intelligence sources named the attractive, short-haired woman as Hyon Song-wol, who used to front the Bochonbo Electronic Music Band and was hugely popular among the North Korean masses.

I mean srsly the BEMB? What common taste the Dear Respected General of Glorious Mount Paektu-Type has! He should be dating the chick from Dirty Projectors or ironically dating the chick from Cults.

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